Sample Reading

A client reached out and wrote: I’ve had good relationships and good jobs but nothing seems to last more than a year. I’ve tried therapy but it doesn’t help that much. It’s left me feeling lonely. Can you look at my chart and give me any kind of insight?

There were more details to her question, which I will not share for privacy reasons, but here is my reply:

Thanks for reaching out. I’ve looked at the chart carefully and here are a few observations. Some of these may seem harsh, but I would suggest reading through all of them carefully, thinking about them for a day or two and then reading them again. I’ll tell you ahead of time that it’s a chart with a lot of contradictions so it’s not surprising you have some difficulties.

·  There’s a strong need for security in the chart, but there’s an even stronger tendency to be overly reactive to people and situations. That reactivity can spoil the security you’re trying to find and build. 

·  There’s also a strong tendency to withdraw when the going gets tough. Possible moodiness.

·  There’s a chronic fear in the chart. Fear of the world, fear of closeness. There can be a tendency towards withdrawal.

·  On the other hand, you can be very enthusiastic about situations in the beginning but that enthusiasm may burn out very quickly. Passions may be fleeting.

If you find a lot, or most, of the above to be true then you have to recognize that these are obstacles for long-term goals. One antidote to your loneliness is to force yourself to be among people more. And to give more, but without expecting to be given to in return. Your loneliness comes from an inner rigidity which can only be broken up through finding a more generous part of yourself.